A Question to Keep Asking in Recoveryby baladmin | December 21, 2015
As humans we eventually learn that things don’t always go according to plan. As kids we don’t anticipate becoming addicted to drugs and alcohol, nor does anyone expect their child to develop addictions. Yet, these difficult things happen to many of us. Part of the process of healing from them is to grieve the loss and feel the pain of it. During this time parents and addicts alike often ask:
“What did I do wrong?”
“What’s wrong with me?”
In other words people wonder,
“Why is this happening to me?”
A kinder avenue may be to change that question to,
“What am I learning from this experience?”
This question can reveal a lot for the recovery process.
The addict may answer:
I am learning that I need to learn how to take care of myself.
I am learning how to grieve.
I am learning how to say, no.
The parent may realize:
I am learning how to let go.
I am learning humility.
I am learning how to create boundaries.
When we are able to look at addiction as a life lesson and not a tragedy we feel a bit more empowered. We see ourselves as a student in the school of life and from there we can raise our hands, ask another question, learn, grow and move on to the next great lesson. Changing our perspective, how we react and learning positive ways to act on life are the foundational building blocks of recovery.