Are you codependent? Here’s how to recognize common codependency symptoms:
1. Examine Your Family Of Origin
Are your parents codependent? Is their relationship based on the need for one another? What about grandparents and siblings?
If your family seems codependent, than you might have learned the behavior from them and your involvement in your family’s established culture of relationships. It’s okay. It’s not your fault, or theirs either really, generations pass down styles of interaction.
2. Peek Into Your Friendships
How have you chosen friends, and how have your friendships evolved over time? Do you need your best friends, and do they need you? The patterns of childhood, and what you saw in your family, may be repeating in your chosen “family.”
3. Evaluate Your Romantic Relationships
Have the patterns also played themselves out in who you choose as a partner? Have you ever broken up with someone and felt completely devastated, even if the relationship was short and didn’t seem to be going anywhere?
4. Be Honest About Your Motives
Do you seek out someone who needs you? Do you feel more secure in a relationship when you don’t think your partner is leaving you? Do you each need to be with one another to feel validated and better about yourselves?
The law of attraction states that we get back what we are putting out there. What do you want? Are you getting that exact thing from the people you date?
5. Identify Your Codependent Tendencies
Are you afraid to confront others when something doesn’t feel right?
Do you forego what is best for you in order to please others?
Are you angry with yourself at times for putting the needs of others before your own?
Do you find yourself repeatedly hurt emotionally by people who claim to care about you?
Are you a “yes” person? Unable to say no when asked to help or run an errand, big or small?
Do you feel used?
Are you walking on eggshells? Watching what you say and do around certain people?
By now you should have an idea of your codependency level, so to speak. Treatment for wherever you fall on the scale is beneficial.
You will learn how to break free of those tendencies, and make better decisions for yourself. Setting good boundaries becomes very important, but you need to learn how. Choosing good friends and romantic partners who will have your best interest at heart without depending on you, and expecting you to depend on them, is important, but again, you need to learn how to do that.
Wouldn’t you like to feel good about yourself without the need for a partner? I know I would!